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Have you ever felt so mad or upset that you explode? This is called an emotional outburst. It happens to kids, but it happens to adults too.
Sometimes, feelings get too big for our bodies. You might yell. You might cry. It may be your first thought to run away or to hide in your room. This is quite normal for individuals who suffer from anxiety. It is also very common for people who have adult ADHD.
When you have an outburst, it can feel very scary. You might feel totally out of control. Your heart beats fast. Your face gets hot. You want the bad feelings to stop right away.
But sometimes, the things you do to feel better actually make it worse. You make mistakes without even knowing it.
Learning about these mistakes is the first step to feeling better.
Clear Connect Health Services is here to help you understand your feelings.
Let us look at four common mistakes that make emotional outbursts worse. We will also learn what to do instead. By making small changes, you can feel calm again much faster.
Mistake 1: Ignoring the Early Warning Signs
The biggest mistake people make is waiting too long. Big feelings do not just pop up out of nowhere. They start small.
Before you have an outburst, your body gives you clues:
- You might start to tap your foot on the floor
- Your hands might ball up into tight fists
- Your breathing might get short and fast
- Your jaw might feel tight
These are your early warning signs. If you ignore these signs, the feelings will grow. Many people try to push the bad feelings away. They pretend everything is fine. But pretending does not work at all. It just makes the explosion bigger later.
The best thing to do is pay attention to your body. When you feel the tiny bubbles, stop what you are doing. Take a break. Drink some cool water. Step outside for some fresh air. Catching the feelings early makes them much easier to control.
Mistake 2: Trying to Fix Everything Right Away
When we feel upset, we want to fix the problem fast. We want to find a quick answer so the bad feeling will go away. But this is a big mistake. When your brain is full of big emotions, it cannot think clearly. You are in survival mode. You cannot make good choices when you are in survival mode.
If you try to fix the problem during an outburst, you might:
- Say things you do not mean
- Start a loud fight
- Make the problem much worse
Brains require time to cool. Wait for the emotional storm to pass.
Instead of trying to fix things, just let yourself feel upset. Tell yourself that it is okay to be mad or sad. Permit yourself to pause. Tell the people around you that you need a minute.
You can say, “I am very upset. I need to rest before we talk.”
Let your body settle down. Then, you can try to fix the problem. Your thinking will improve with calmness.
Mistake 3: Forgetting to Take Deep Breaths
This sounds too simple. It’s a very common mistake and you forget to breathe. When we get anxious or angry, our breathing changes a lot. We take short, shallow breaths. Sometimes we hold our breath unknowingly. Our brain senses danger. This worsens panic.
Your body tenses when you breathe incorrectly. The emotional eruption takes longer. Simple breathing is a mental magic trick. It reassures your nervous system. It mitigates huge emotions.
The next time you feel an outburst coming, focus on your breath:
- Breathe in slowly through your nose
- Count to four in your head
- Breathe out slowly through your mouth
- Count to six as you breathe out
Making your exhale longer than your inhale is the key to this trick. Do this five times in a row. You will feel your muscles start to relax. You will feel your heartbeat slow down. Do not skip this step. Deep breathing is your best tool.
Mistake 4: Blaming Yourself after It Happens
After an emotional outburst, the dust settles. You might feel very tired. You might also feel very guilty. This leads to the fourth mistake. People start to blame themselves.
Examples of negative self-talk:
- “I am so silly for getting mad.”
- “I should be much better than this.”
Beating yourself up does not help. It only makes you feel worse. It causes you to be more apprehensive the next time. Episodes of emotional upset are a clue that you are feeling overwhelmed. They do not imply you’re an evil person. They indicate that you need a bit of extra support at this time.
Instead of being mean to yourself, practice kindness:
- Talk to yourself like you would talk to a good friend
- Tell yourself that everyone has hard days
If you continue to experience massive explosions, then it could very well be that you need some assistance from a professional. Getting an evaluation can help you find out why your feelings are so big. At Clear Connect Health Services, a doctor can give you tools to handle your emotions. You do not have to figure it all out by yourself.
Finding Your Calm Again
Big emotions are hard to handle. They can turn into scary outbursts. But you have the power to change how you react. Remember to look for your early warning signs. Do not try to fix everything while you are still upset.
Remember to take deep, slow breaths. Most importantly, always be kind to yourself.
If you avoid these four mistakes, the outbursts will not be so bad. They will not last as long. You will feel more in control of your life. It takes practice, but you can do it. Start with small steps today.
And remember, Clear Connect Health Services is always here to support you on your journey to better mental health.
Ready to Get Help?
If you are struggling with focus, emotional outbursts, or feeling out of control, Clear Connect Health Services provides structured, evidence-based care. Call or Text (540) 779-8166 or visit the Schedule page.
FAQs
What causes an emotional outburst?
Many different things can cause them. High stress is a common reason. Being too tired or too hungry can also cause them. Sometimes mental health problems like anxiety make them happen more often.
Why do people with ADHD have more outbursts?
ADHD affects the part of the brain that controls emotions. It makes it harder to stop and think before you react. It also makes feelings feel stronger and faster. This can lead to more outbursts.
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